In order to get what you want it’s good to hear ‘No’. Really.

blackboard saying no is better than yes

You thought that, in order to get what you want, you needed to get only ‘Yes’ ?Recently I heard a few interesting concepts that show how hearing No is actually a better way to negotiate and develop yourself.

How to be a better negotiator by looking for No answers

yes sign

There is this old theory that says : if you make the person answer ‘Yes’ to trivial questions, then she’s more likely to give you another ‘Yes’ to your real request. Do you know this theory? Yes, we all know it. That’s why it doesn’t work anymore, it’s the Yes trap.

When you find yourself answering Yes to trivial question, your mind goes ‘WARNING – Where am I letting myself in for? Where is the bear trap?’

worrying cloudLet’s take a simple example. Somebody calls you and ask: “Are you Mrs Smith?” (An easy way to get a Yes if you are indeed). I’d be like “Euhhh, Yyyyyes”, thinking What does this person want to get from me. Wouldn’t you?

You don’t want the other person to have these questions running inside their head, you want him/her to feel at ease while talking to you.

Instead of asking “Are you Mrs Smith?”, “Is it a good time to talk?”, go for No answers : “Is now a bad time to talk?”, “Did I catch you in the middle of something?”

Instead of asking “Can you commit today and make the payment?”, go for No answers : “Are you against making a commitment by 2pm?”, “Are you against processing the payment by the end of the day”?

source from How to be Awesome at your job  Kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss

Why is it good to hear ‘No’ to develop youself?

no sign

If you only hear Yes, it means you have not reached the limit, you have not asked enough. Growth mindset cap on! If you want to grow, target over the limit.

An example? Just spend a few hours with a kid! Got it?

Call to action :  In order to get what you want, Be a GO FOR NO Person!

Practice asking for more (a discount, an upgrade etc) and accept hearing No.

-Best case : you’ll get a Yes  -Worst case : You’ll get desensitized to hearing No and you’ll gain Confidence. This is not about you, but the other person.

Source from How to be Awesome at your job Going for No with Andrea Waltz

On top of that remember what we learned in the recent post Choose Wonder over Worry : Rejection is not personal. It’s not You who is rejected. You’re just not the right fit. Now move forward.


If you liked this post, spread the word, make sure to share it!

On This Sheep is Orange, I regularly write about Women in Business & Leadership. If you want get inspired by female leaders and learn new skills to be remarkable in the workplace, simply enter your email below and follow the blog.

Become Orange, Follow the blog !
Join the community of like-minded Women in Business & Leadership who are receiving the monthly blog newsletter.
This blog is a passion, not a business. Your email address will not be sold or shared with anyone else and you can unsubscribe anytime.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.